CC Issue 20 / Comedy / Reflections

Twenty Things I Learnt In My Twenties

To celebrate our twentieth issue, I decided to write twenty things I learnt in my twenties (or thereabouts).  And for no reason other than feeling like it, I have written each insight in light verse.  I was inspired to do this when reading some of Ogden Nash’s little gems recently, my favourite of which are:

A child need not be very clever
To learn that “Later, dear” means “Never.”

Ogden Nash

and

I often wonder which is mine:
Tolerance, or a rubber spine?

and

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker

Anyway, here goes.

1.  On Fashion
Dressing up or dressing down?
I prefer a dressing gown

2.  On Love
A dear old friend once said to me
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Or, to quote the Spanish song,
“Another Juan will come along.”

3.  On Drugs  
Why high?

4. On Alcohol
Those who think
That they can drink
Are often those
Who lose their clothes

5.  On Taking Chances 
When Opportunity knocks
Hop, skip and jump to the door
Because Opportunity clocks
Will not tick tock for ever more

6.  On Music
Rolling Stones may shake my bones
But Beatles will convert me

7.  On Persistence
A wise Kiwi once said to me, “Sometimes it’s bitter to be a quitter.”

8.  On Health
When you are twenty
You can eat plenty
And stay at a reasonable size
But when you are thirty
You should be alerty
To oversized buttocks and thighs

9.  On Smoking
Cigarettes are best enjoyed
In small dark rooms on celluloid

10.  On Creativity
It’s great
To create
But a critic
Is parasitic

Me

11.  On Bathroom Efficiency
Should you hang your towel on the shower door
It will stay mostly dry and you won’t wet the floor

12.  On Driving
Sitting in traffic is less then terrafic

13.  On Musical Cycles
Song is great
Song’s fantastic
Song is boring
Song’s a classic

14.  On Trainspotting
By far Hong Kong’s best thing, I reckon
Is Hong Kong’s in-town In-Town check-in

15.  On Wealth
When you plant the money seed
The only thing that grows is greed

16.  On Tolerance
Budge, don’t judge

17.  On Kitchen Cleverness
If onions are bringing a tear to your eye
Put down that matchstick, give goggles a try

18.  On Poetry
Rhyming in English is tough
I think I’m in a trough

19.  On Cooking
Chopping’s laborious
But tasting is glorious

20.  On Cancer Prevention
People who live in glass houses should wear sunscreen.

I invite you to share your own Nash-esque pearls of wisdom below.

6 thoughts on “Twenty Things I Learnt In My Twenties

  1. Pingback: 10 Things I Learnt About Hong Kong | EnglishmaninHK.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s